The Guy (Or, The God)
by Idothisfortheladies
Summary: A new guy (or, god) moves in across the street from Kendall, and catches the attention of both him and James. Will they get over their fears and talk to The Guy, or will they be stuck as creepy stalkers forever?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Hello, Dearies, how are you?**

**A few things before I begin:**

**1.) This should have multiple chapters (so, kill me if it doesn't)**

**2.) This could end up as Kogan or Jagan (request, request, request)**

**3.) I do not own BTR**

**4.) This is AU (they are still in Minnesota and whatnot)**

**That should be it :D**

* * *

Kendall's POV

Carlos, James, and I are sitting on my couch staring across the street as a moving van idles on the curb of the house across the street, workers unloading various pieces of furniture. Carlos is looking bored, tapping his fingers against his leg, but James and I are totally enthralled.

"Kendall…" James breathes, "He was gorgeous."

"I know, James." I nod, staring at the door pleadingly, willing the guy to come back out. Carlos blows out a sigh and James and I, in perfect unison, turn to look at him.

"You wouldn't understand." James shoots, "You're straight."

"Yeah, 'Litos. You just don't know." I agree and James fist bumps me as without taking his eyes from the window.

"You could talk to him," Carlos suggests, "Instead of staring."

"Do you talk to pretty girls in the park?" James fires back and Carlos shrugs.

"That's different."

"Don't be a homophobe, Carlos. You know it's the same goddamn thing." James sighs as the door opens and the guy steps out, all brown hair and perfection, talking to his mother as he heads to the moving van. I sigh wistfully as he picks up a box and carts it towards the house.

"God, James, do you see him?"

"Is he real?" James moans and I pinch his arm, causing him to yelp as the boy walks out for another box.

"Do you still see him?"

"Yeah."

"He's real, James."

"And you two," Carlos stands, "Are a bunch of pansies."

"We're not bringing sexuality into this." James glares, "And get your ass out of the way, you're blocking the view."

"This," Carlos gestures to his ass and figure, "Is the best view you'll ever get."

"Carlos, get out of the way before I move you myself." James threatens and Carlos mumbles something, although he does move away from the window. I rest my chin in my palm, elbow balancing on my thigh, as the van pulls away from the sidewalk and disappears. The house remains closed, the guy long gone, and James stretches beside me.

"Well, that was a good way to spend three hours." I comment and Carlos looks scandalized.

"We watched a guy move in for _three hours_?"

"And you're not even gay, 'Litos." James teases, earning a glare from Carlos. I just know he's going to go on a long tear about all the things we _could _have been doing in those three hours, so I butt in before he can opens his mouth.

"James, we need to meet that guy. I might _die _if I don't meet that guy."

"Don't be such a drama queen." James scoffs, "You won't _die_, but I might kill myself."

"And I'm the drama queen." I snort, earning a well-aimed kick from James. He gets me in the ass, which brings on a whole new wave of bickering, though the spotting of The Guy on his front lawn quickly silences us both. James is practically drooling and I just _know_ my mouth is open, but _damn_ he's worth it. Unfortunately, Carlos is still alive and functional, which means we get interrupted before our ogling can really even begin.

"If you don't go over there _I _will!" Carlos practically stamps his foot and James quirks a brow at him.

"Way to join the land of the queers, Carlos. You know, there are better ways to come out of the closet, most of them including the words 'gay' or 'ass.'"

"He's right, 'Litos," I grin, "You could have been a little more forward. No need to dance around it."

"I mean, I know it's bad to label, but-"

"Could you two _stop_?" Carlos really _does _stomp his foot this time, which is more ridicule worthy than any previous statements. However, I decide enough is enough, and James is too busy laughing to pursue the newfound topic of teasing.

"Fine, but you have to stop telling us to face-"

"A god." James finishes, going back to the window only to sigh, "Who's gone now, thanks to _someone_ distracting us."

"It's really unhealthy for you to ogle the new guy."

"If you think that's unhealthy you better be glad you can't read my mind." James smiles wickedly as Carlos grimaces.

"Ok, no."

"What? After all you've told _me_ about your dream girl and your dream position, I think I deserve a little explicit soliloquy."

"Isn't a soliloquy for your ears only?" I counter and James rolls his eyes.

"I'm just saying, Carlos is a hypocrite, and not even a cute one."

"Hey!" Carlos squawks and the bickering's back tenfold, with some pretty heavy name calling. It lasts until Katie says something about "a buncha girls" and James begins his hour long lecture about the difference between girls and homosexuals.

Katie has the good sense to leave but, as James' friends, Carlos and I are obligated to nod and throw in well placed "Amen(s)" from time to time. Of course, as we've known James since before he even knew what being gay was, we have the art of placating him down to a science.

"You know," I begin as soon as James finishes and he looks at me, still a little red in the face, "I think we should maybe try talking to him."

"Really? Why?" James furrows his eyebrows as Carlos nods enthusiastically.

"Well, what if he turns out to be _the one_?"

"Oh please, that's so faith based. As far as I can tell, gays don't get _the one_. We get who we get and we deal with it."

"You're cynicism is refreshing." I scowl and James frowns mockingly.

"Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Look, you go talk to him if you want, but I'm good with watching him from your living room window." His eyes widen, "Do you think he jogs?"

"You can't stay here forever, you know. And, I have no idea if he jogs or not, but I'm sure he'll notice you if you watch him. Or, you know, conveniently run into him."

"That's just it! He'll _notice_ and I won't have to get too emotionally attached! It's perfect!"

"You don't even jog!" I cross my arms and Carlos laughs.

"He's right, James, you don't jog."

"_I _don't have to jog; the _god _has to jog."

"That's so faith based." I mimic and James throws up his hands. I know from his expression he isn't _mad_, just tired of going in circles.

"That's it. I'm done with you people. I'm going home to look up jogging techniques." And with that he storms out, slamming the door for dramatic. I watch his progress as he deliberately crosses to the other side of the street, shaking his ass all the way. Carlos whistles appreciatively at "The James Diamond Show" and shakes his head.

"How long before he gets bored of jogging and deems him '_not worth it_?'"

"I give it two days of jogging and one day of pineful staring." I shrug and turn from the window, noting the darkening sky and the likelihood that we won't be seeing any more of The Guy tonight. Carlos hums something under his breath and rolls his eyes to the ceiling, probably praying to God that James doesn't do anything potentially harmful or particularly idiotic.

"How about you?" Carlos asks slyly.

"I don't know, 'Litos. He's just my type." I bite my lip and think back on those arms and that back and that hair and how pale his skin is…

"You're in love and you haven't said two words to the guy." Carlos teases and I snort.

"That's rich coming from the _king _of illogical love. Remember the love of your life from two weeks ago? You saw her in the park, watched her for all of two seconds, and decided you were going to marry her."

"I am!" Carlos defends.

"Do you even remember what she looks like?"

"She had brown hair."

"No, she was a blonde." I correct, smiling at Carlos' crestfallen expression. He perks back up after a second, as if he's remembered something exciting.

"Well, at least I didn't stare at her for three hours."

"Whatever. Don't you have a home?"

"Yeah, maybe." Carlos sticks his tongue out before slipping out of the living room. I hear the front door close with a bang and watch as Carlos stays on the same side of the street, but casts a look at The Guy's house. I can almost hear his laughter as he disappears from view, carrying all the fun with him. Now, all I have is a silent house and a God who doesn't have the decency to enjoy the outdoors.

"What am I gonna do?" I murmur, falling back on the couch and staring at the ceiling.

The logical answer would be to try _talking _to him but, as far as life goes, you never take the easy way. Or, the logical way. Or, really, the way that'll work.

No, you spend three hours a day staring before you give up and go for something that promises some kind of progress.

Maybe I should take up jogging.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**Here is the second chapter :D**

**Ok, sorry nothing happens in this one (I promise, more will go on)**

**Anyway, I don't own anything recognizable or trademarked. **

James shows up bright and early the next morning with two sets of running gear and a camera. I'm still in my pajamas, not even having time to brush my teeth, as he dumps the clothes on the living room couch and puts his hands on his hips.

"Kendall, your sleeping pattern is horrible." He greets, pulling a pair of black shorts and a white muscle tee from the mass of fabrics on the couch. He shoves them at me as I yawn, rubbing my eyes because it's eight in the morning in the summer.

"Fuck you. What is all this?" I hold the clothes at arm's length, knowing full well what it is, but wanting to give James the chance to pitch the idea before I write it off as completely idiotic. James sighs and shakes his own set at me before bothering to explain.

"I told you. We need to take up jogging."

"No, you asked if _he_ jogged which, judging by his failure to be _jogging_ at the moment, I would say he doesn't." I drop the clothes and James frowns at me.

"Ok, fine. But, think of it this way; there's nothing sexier than a guy who jogs, right? So, if he catches us jogging, he'll totally think we're sexy! It's perfect!"

"James, he's not even _awake_. _No one _is awake! It's eight in the goddamn _morning_, James!" I turn whiny, regretting ever being friends with James Diamond in the first place. I mean, it seemed like a good idea when we were sharing crayons but, with each year and each new scheme, it's starting to grow a little bitter.

Of course, I love James too much to ever truly regret his friendship, though I wish he had the good sense to start his plans at a decent hour. Or, to at least think them through.

"Early bird gets the worm, prick. If you don't want your worm, you can take your ass back to bed, but I fully plan on seizing the day. Besides, if we make enough noise he might come out to see what we're doing." James winks and I roll my eyes.

"I'm going to bed, James."

"No!" James grabs my arm and holds me in place, eyes desperate, "Look, if you do this with me, I promise I'll never ask you for another favor again, so help me God!"

"You know this is ridiculous, right?"

"Yeah I know, but it's not like we're gonna talk to him or anything. The least we could do is give him something to look at and, by default, something to think about. Maybe he'll take the first step, you never know."

"I don't know…" I consider my options, bed or James, and sigh, "If I go, you have to promise to buy me ice cream after _and_ you're getting me two birthday presents this year."

"Done. Now get in these." He throws the clothes back at me and begins stripping, pulling on his own. I roll my eyes and begin to do the same, yawning widely. I can already tell this is going to suck majorly tomorrow morning, at least if my lack of exercise has anything to say about it. James whistles happily, fitting the camera strap, the camera being more of the video kind, over his hand.

"Tell me, James, do I want to know what that's for?"

"In case he happens to be out and about. We can pretend to be doing a documentary, and I can have a nice video of that perfect ass because, let me tell, staring from your living room window does _not _do it justice."

"You're being a creep, James." I grab the camera and throw it on the couch, making James yelp, "We're already going to be jogging by his house."

"Anyone can jog, Kendall! It's not that creepy to jog!"

"It is when you can practically _smell _how unused these clothes are! Trust me, if he sees us, he's going to know we're not joggers."

"So what? Maybe we just started?" James yanks on his shirt, "And running clothes are sexy, anyway. He'll be too distracted to care that we smell brand new and look like idiots."

"I thought we looked sexy?"

"Sexy idiots." James concedes.

"Whatever." I grab a pair of beat up sneakers from the hall closet, lacing them up as James pulls on his own. He holds out a hand and I pull him to his feet, yanking him hard enough to make him stumble because that's what friends do.

"Let's go get ourselves a man." He slaps me on the back and heads to the door, yanking it open. I roll my eyes, the start of a very long day, and slip out after him. Even in the early morning it's hot, sweat beading on my forehead and under my arms. James stands on the lawn, raising his arms above his head in the most ridiculous pose I've ever seen.

"James, are you sure that's right?"

"Oh come on, we do this for hockey all the time."

"Yeah, but is running different?"

"Stretching is stretching is stretching." James hops around so that he's facing my house and bends down, pretending to touch his toes while wiggling his ass.

"You look like an idiot."

"Ok, Mr. Judgmental, why don't you show me how it's done? I am only trying to get Mr. Gorgeous to notice me, fall in love with me, and maybe agree to go out on a date."

"We don't even know if he's gay."

"You know," James gives me a seductive look, "Some say being gay is catching."

"You want to turn him gay?"

"You know, Knight, you really are a smart guy." James heads down the sidewalk, crossing the street just to pass by The Guy's lawn. I go after him, trying to look less idiotic than I feel, and probably managing look like more of one. If Carlos were here, he'd be laughing his ass off.

"You know," I pant, out of shape and proud, "Carlos is right. We should just try talking to him."

"Shut up, Knight." James sounds just as winded as I am, "You don't know anything about love."

"Neither do you." I retaliate, picking up the pace so I can pass James. He glowers at me and returns the gesture with his own burst of speed, passing me with his middle finger raised.

"Now you've done it." I sprint after him, laughing at his look of terror. James has longer legs than I do, but he's never been one for stamina, and after making a few laps around the street he finally gives up. I tackle him in my yard, straddling him and holding his arms above his head. We're both laughing with barely enough air to do so, red in the face and panting.

"Uncle! Uncle!" James wriggles underneath me and I let him up, offering a hand. He uses it to jerk me back down on top of him, forcing me onto the ground while he assumes the dominate position. The look in his eyes is one of pure, sadistic pleasure.

"You can't get away now, Knight."

"Oh, hey, he does jog!" I feign surprise and James whirls around.

"Gotcha!" I shove James off and we both clamber to our feet, James throwing me a black look.

"Good one, Knight." He sniffs, holding out a hand which I take, "Good one."

"And now you owe me ice cream."

"What? Deals off, we didn't even jog." James snorts.

"I got dressed in this stupid outfit and chased you around!" I argue and James scowls at me, pointing a thin finger at me.

"Yeah, you _chased _me. I probably looked ridiculous!"

"You passed ridiculous when you were shaking your ass at the neighbor's house." I scoff and James pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I'll buy your goddamn ice cream."

"Let me go get changed." I grin change his mind. and dash inside before the pretty boy can change his mind.


End file.
